北京朝九晚五的那些事儿。

还有不到10天，讲不出再见。

想到一个词——博弈。

重温了那部二战电影《决战中的较量》又名《兵临城下》，两个狙击手的故事，每个人只有一次机会，杀，或是被杀；生存还是死亡，没有人想要死，但要生存，就要打败对方。

还在玩跑跑卡丁车，T与被T，也是一个道理的。和别人较劲，只要你赢不了，你就面临被T。

所谓博弈。

 

这两天一直迷茫于工作。算是奔波，算是抉择，算是无所事事。总想干点什么，却总在想写什么。

最讨厌这种状态，没有激情，只有迷茫。

没有开始，没有结束，一直在路上。

刚打完牌，他们刚撤，凌晨坐在电脑前，总在深索，生活是什么…… 

这样看似很好，生活还蛮有乐趣，但又不知道自己追求的是什么？

小说，写到了一部分，却又下不下去了，不知道如何写下去，没有了主线。

也许这就是生活，永远不是你所期望的那样，选择题，但是却由判官来决定你的选择。

Choose life. Choose a job.
Choose a career. Choose a family.
Choose a fucking big television.
Choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players, and electrical tin openers.
 
Choose good health, low cholesterol and dental insurance.
Choose fixed-interest mortgage repayments.
Choose a starter home.
Choose your friends.
 
Choose leisure wear and matching luggage.
Choose a three piece suite on hire purchase in a range of fucking fabrics.
Choose DIY and wondering who you are on a Saturday morning.
Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing sprit-crushing game shows, stuffing fucking junk food into your mouth.
 
Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pissing you last in a miserable home.
Nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked-up brats you have spawned to replace yourself.
 
Choose your future. Choose life.
 
But why would I want to do a thing like that?
I choose not to choose life, I choose something else.
And the reasons?
 
There are no reasons.

Who needs reasons when you've got heroin?

You just keep me hanging on, You just keep me hanging on...